The End of Work Life Balance

By Eva Davis, Co-Chair Private Equity, Winston & Strawn —

Blog posts, women’s conferences, mentoring programs, and lifestyle and career counseling tips tout the many ways to attain “work-life” balance. “Balance” is an equal distribution of weight that allows something to remain upright and steady. “Work-life-balance” is a condition in which different elements of “work” (career and ambition) and “lifestyle” (family, leisure, and health) are equal or in balance. Are we setting women (and men) up for failure in both work and life by pretending work-life balance is actually attainable? Instead, shouldn’t we be embracing “work-life” integration?

“Work-life” integration is a condition in which work and life are not separate, and you are not striving to keep these separate aspects of your life equal or in balance. Instead, with work-life-integration you acknowledge that aspects of your lifestyle overlap with your work and features of your work intermingle with your life. Accepting that work-life-integration is not just okay, but is the way to attain a more rewarding career (along with a satisfying lifestyle), relieves the pressure to attain the unattainable “work-life-balance.”

Successfully embracing work-life integration means:

1. Clients as Friends. Do clients hire law firms or do clients hire lawyers? While I believe it’s a little bit of both, I’ve never known a client to hire a lawyer she didn’t like, and I’ve never known a client to retain a lawyer again and again unless that client had a strong personal relationship with her lawyer. What does that mean for me? Over time, my best clients have become my friends. Those clients didn’t start as friends, but they became friends as they were integrated into aspects of my personal life. In fact, I’ve found that while it’s certainly possible to represent clients you don’t like personally, you often do your best work, you stretch yourself to solve the most challenging problems, and you are comfortable having work seep into your family time, when you are working for people with whom you have a strong personal relationship.

2. Authentic Client Development. When I choose to engage in client development activities, I only do those activities that I truly enjoy. This means I don’t play golf, but instead I seek to experience my favorite activities with my clients—wine tasting, cooking classes, skiing, hiking, or even stand up paddle-boarding. Since I prefer to spend time with my family in the evenings, I limit my evening activities with clients. Instead, I’m more likely to enjoy a breakfast, lunch or afternoon coffee with a client. I also give client gifts that are more “authentically me” and likely to be remembered long after the gift is received, like a wooden puzzle stool with a newborn’s name (that will stay in the child’s room for over a decade) or even my annual Girl Scout cookie gift deliveries (as a 20+ year Girl Scout and former troop leader to my daughters). Who doesn’t want to enjoy Thin Mints during a long board meeting?

3. Supportive Team Building. I ask my team members how they like to spend their time out of the office and what important work and life events they want to experience. What is it about work that most motivates them—negotiating a difficult deal, researching a challenging issue, drafting a creative provision that bridges concerns on both sides? What are the “can’t miss” aspects of their life that will make them more productive at work—weekend soccer games, Friday family game night, or early morning gym class? How can we make sure their career is developing to experience these important aspects at work that will allow time for important aspects in life? Teams will be more loyal, more productive and more efficient when you, as team leader, support and facilitate their work-life integration.

4. Strategic Firm Citizenship. Be strategic about your aspects of firm citizenship. Which firm activities give you more exposure to firm leaders or allow you to more easily demonstrate your skills and leadership? What firm activities do you like doing—training, speaking engagements, writing articles, recruiting, or mentoring? Step up to do those activities you enjoy and where your skills can be utilized. When you do, don’t just be the person who attends the committee meetings, instead chair the committee, run the meeting, or organize the event, department meeting, conference or training session. Take the lead role in making something important to your firm happen.

5. Kids and Family Organizations. For parents, volunteer for those activities that work with your schedule, best utilize your skills, provide enjoyment and give you the most information about what your kids are doing. My schedule doesn’t allow me to be a room parent or to run any kids’ holiday parties at school during the school day. My schedule has allowed me to serve on the Board of Directors of my kids’ pre-school and to chair the Annual Fund at my kids’ K-12 independent school. These activities have given me insights into how the school is run, what the school’s strategic plan is for the coming years and who the best teachers are for any particular subject or grade. These activities that align naturally with my legal skills have allowed me to stay up-to-date about almost all aspects of my kids’ school life—more than I could ever glean at the school bus stop, drop off or class party—and have provided me the opportunity to know the teachers, head of school and other school leaders. Plus, much of my work for these groups can be done from my office or home and meetings are often early morning or in the evenings rather than during school hours.

6. Just Say No. I only do those “extra” activities that I want to do. This means I say “no” to speaking engagements, outside activities, industry organizations, and personal invitations that don’t specifically relate to my family, my clients, my interests, my team members, the firm committees in which I am involved, or the most critical industry events that relate to my practice. Saying “no” allows me to focus on the most important aspects of my work and my family life. I will admit, I do say “yes” frequently, which gives me the opportunity to say “no” because my relationships know that I am busy, and when I decline a request, they trust that it’s because I have a number of other competing demands on my time. Even so, before I say “no”, I seek to provide another member of my team, at my firm or in my community with the opportunity that I just declined.

Technology means that we are available 24/7, and our clients expect that we will be. I’m just as likely to draft portions of a contract sitting in the stands between my daughter’s weekend lacrosse games as I am to organize elements of her birthday party between contract negotiations during the week at work. Recognizing, accepting and embracing work-life integration can make for much more enjoyable and rewarding work experience while also allowing you the freedom to enjoy your life and family without the guilt and pressure to maintain work-life balance.

About the Author

Eva Davis is partner and co-chair of Winston & Strawn LLP’s Private Equity Practice. For more than 20 years, she has advised her clients on U.S. and cross-border complex business transactions with a particular focus on mergers and acquisitions and private equity. Ms. Davis has served in management positions at three AmLaw 50 firms. As a result of her achievements in the marketplace and her commitment to community and mentoring, she was named a “2015 Woman of Influence” by L.A. Biz. Ms. Davis was also a member of the winning team at the inaugural Women in Law Hackathon, a pitch competition aimed to generate innovative ideas to close the gender gap.